Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I was just talking to my sister a bit ago, the one in Philly that I live with. She informed me that the home computer crashed and we are shit out of luck on getting a new one. So now I will be forced to use the lap top. That means I won't be using the computer much. I HATE Laptops. That's right. Hate those mother fuckers. Luckily I wont be home for a week so i don't have to deal with that right now.

But.. I have decided that I am going to Auction off a few personal items of mine to you all. To start the new computer fund. So I can continue to bring you all my award winning blogs that you can not live your life without. I told my aunt I was going to Auction of my sex last night and she wasn't pleased by that so I had to go another route.

So lets get this shit rolling.

First Item up for bid..

A wad of my very own pubic hair. I will not bathe for a week so that way I can be sure to get that 100% musty crotch smell embedded in it just for you.

We will start the bidding off at $ 10.

Next Item up for Bid.

My Pair of Old Navy tighty whiteys. These suckers have been worn day in and day out. As you see I left an autograph on them for you.. These can be worn or sniffed. Whatever you want to do with them. They will be a perfect addition to any underwear collection.

We will start the bidding at $25.

Next Item up for bid.

A replica dildo of my cock. I will get the kit. Stick my dick in it.. and you will be able to have your very own MattKansas cock. This way.. even when I am not there.. You will always be able to feel my very best.. .deep inside your snatch.. or poopshoot. Whatever your working with.

We shall start the bidding at $75

Next Item up for bid..

That's right. A big juicy pile of my jizz. You can be the proud owner of millions and millions of minature Matt's. You can guzzle it.. use it as a facial.. or you can even drip it in your snatch and get knocked up. Just know that I will not be paying child support.

The bidding will start at $100.

Our final Item up for bid.


For one 1/2 hour I will be at your beck and call. You can make me stroke my cock. Self suck my dick... or shove a loaf of wonder bread up my ass. Whatever you want. It's your time!

The Bidding starts at $500

There you go. My auction begins now and promptly ends on Monday. Get to buying.

Make sure you send this blog to all your friends. So they dont miss out on the wonderful oppurtunity to have a piece of Matt Kansas!

*Note - Buyer is responsible for shipping and handling. If anything comes damaged.. dont cry about it.. just deal with it.

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