YOU ARE WHAT MATTERS
Did your boyfriend/girlfriend just split up with you? Are you finally dumping that son of a bitch, who always makes you cry? Is it time to get the fuck out of a realtionship?
But wait! You can't handle it. You are going to sit around and cry and boohoo because you LOVEEEE him/her. Well shut the fuck up and do me a favor.
Here is the very first step in healing from a broken heart.
GET BACK TO YOU! IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU AGAIN! Wait. Let me say this one more time. IT IS YOU YOU YOU that is the main concern now.
First. I want you to sit your fat ass down and write a list. Two list actually. On one side of the paper I want you to write down all the good things of the relationship. The other write down all the bad. Now look at it. The good should be much longer than the bad.. if its not.. that is step one to realize.. this relationship was more like a bad friendship. With on occasional pussy or ass pounding.
Second. Give yourself 3 days to just cry about it. And please. Don't involve your friends. They don't really want to hear it. I mean seriously. They knew this was coming. EVERYONE knew this was coming. If you want to trash him.. get a picture.. and stab the fuck out of it. Take your frustations out on the portrait. Not out on your friends. Yes, you can call the one friend and vent.
I am not saying don't talk to your friends about it, but dont make that the only topic of conversation. It gets old and it gets old quick. You know I am right. How many times have you had a friend cry on your shoulder and all you could think was.. damn this bitch needs to get over this shit and QUICK!
Yes I have been the friend that has cried, bitched and moaned about losing my realtionship. Looking back I know what a fool I was and how annoying it was to my friends. They just want to have a good time in life. They want YOU to have a good time. So give them a quick spill what went down and move on.
After you had your 3 day bawlbaby session.. its time to dry it up sister...
First you call one of your good friends, that you hopefully didn't annoy the hell out of with your moping to them.. and you say. "Listen bitch, me and you are GOING OUT"
Make a date with your friend!
Then once that is set..
I want you to look in the mirror. And tell that cry baby bitch needing that asshole GOODBYE...
You go get your fucking hair cut.. hair dided.. Hair dyed. Whatever.. CHANGE YOUR LOOK! Oh you are broke? Well go to the Hair Cuttlery.. Shit. Just change it up!
Go get a new outfit! Something a little sluttier than usual. Now if you are a big boy or girl.. simmer down there.. you dont want everything hanging out. But dress in something new and cute!! Still broke? Go to the damn Thrift store if you have too. Just get something new.
Men and woman..both.. get a manicure. Have your nails looking nice. Go to a tanning bed.. Even if your ass is scared of the cancer. Just 5 minutes in there will give you the world of color.
After you got all this shit done.. You go home.. get ready.. and once you are looking your best.. and oh so fab..
Just stand there and look at yourself in the mirror. Admire the NEW you. The free you. The you that is gonna be YOU again. While your looking at yourself. Promise yourself one thing for that night. Promise yourself that you this evening is free of all worries. Free of all past. Free of anything standing in your way of moving on. Allow yourself just ONE night of that. You can cry again tomorrow.
Now go out with your friend and have a great time. Just remember. You promised yourself that one night for just you. Remember.. You can go back to your pitiful fucking pitty party tomorrow.
YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF THIS NIGHT OF FREEDOM.
Then the next day. When you are sad again. I want you to think back of your night. How great you looked. How good you felt. How much fun you had. And that should be enough to let you know that you will make it. You will survive. You will move on- YES you are going to be alright.
AND FOR GOD SAKES.. DO NOT FUCK HIM/HER! THAT IS THE BIGGEST DAMN MISTAKE YOU CAN MAKE.
FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO FUCK YOU! I AM SURE SOMEONE WILL. ULESS YOUR ASS STINKS THAT BAD.