Im Going To Heaven And So Can You
"You faggot, you are going straight to hell." I have heard this, or variations of this many times in the almost 11 years that I have came out of that cramped smelly closet.
I am a good wholesome Christian guy.. even though I do not exactly act the role in life. My mouth spilling out profanity one second and my dick in an asshole the next. To the Bible Thumping Bastards this is a definite one way ticket to the firey pits of hell .
There have even been times I have laid awake in my bed and wondered about it all. I have God in my heart. I try to do right in life, and I accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. Is that enough?
There is still that fact that I love me some asshole! Asshole that is attached to another man. I have thought.... should I just become Atheists so then my religion won't tell me it's wrong that I love to shove my tongue up a tight little sphincter?
That idea quickly fades because I believe to much in God. I have felt his presence and will always know the power of his love.
So will I get to heaven since I'm a rip roaring homofuckingsexual? That is the question.
I have the answer. It is YES!!!! There is NO way that I can be denied entry into the Pearly Gates.
Shit I can even stab a bitch and make it to heaven now.
AND GUESS WHAT?!? YOU CAN TOO!!!
Are you Gay? And want to keep ass fucking men?
Are you an Atheist? And want to take precautions just in case you are wrong?
Are you a whore? And you want big bucks for that pink box between your legs?
You can be all these things and more and STILL get into heaven.
And what exactly is this gonna cost you? Are you ready for this????
$15.95+ $2.00 S&H
I found a website where you can RESERVE your spot in heaven? Thats right. I can die with my dick shoved up a mancunt and still be assured I will be making it to heaven.
NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
What will 15.95 get you.. you ask??
So there you have it. Next time someone says I am going to hell for being a faggot. I can tell them to kiss my big white hairy ass, as I flash them my certificate!
Now come on people. Make sure you get to hang out with me in Heaven and reserve your spot today!!