Moms are NEVER right.

A MOMS ADVICE

My mother can be a crazy broad, that I will never deny. Even when I tell stories about how my mother was a shithead to me, I will always love her. I don't really think my mother taught me a lot of life lessons, other then what NOT to do. In that I mean if my mother did it, I probably should NOT.

One thing that I have taken away since I was a child, was a few things my mother beat in my head with her words.

"Don't climb on things and don't horse play. You can break your head open and die." I can't tell you how many times this woman said that to me. It made me so scared to do anything. Even to this day I am not much a dare devil, even though I want to be, in fear that I am going to break my head open!

A little over a year ago, while I was out riding my bicycle a car hit me, as I went flying through the air towards the sidewalk the first thought that went through my head was --

OH FUCK THIS IS EMBARRASSING

That thought quickly diminished and what my mother always said to me went rushing through my mind. "You are going to break your head open and die." Those words hit me just in time.

I risked breaking my arms, but at the very second I was about to slam into that sidewalk and cement guardrail my arms went straight out to push my body away from hitting my head. I lost most the skin on my hands that day, amongst the broken bones, but I did NOT hit my head. I was able to keep myself from my head being bashed into the cement because that was the only concern. Her words saved me. I broke the hardest bone in my body that day, so the impact was so strong it could have easily crushed my skull.

Another thing my mother always said to me..

"Don't chase your brother with that butcher knife, you might just put your eye out"

Ok I kid I kid. Of course I didn't chase my brother with butcher knifes, other then that one time. She did say "Don't run with things you will put your eye out" I have been lucky enough to not have a situation where I almost put my eye out, but I have always listened to this piece of advice and never ran with anything.

If I do run with something I make sure that I hold it down to my side. Another thing she always embedded in my little mind. If I was walking or running with something I was demanded to keep my arms down at my sides with the object lightly grasped.

Luckily, I took her advise as a child and still as an adult.
I came across a picture of a little boy and wondered to myself. What happend to this poor kids little nose..

Did he run and fall on something, or was he running with something in his hand. Did what my mother always told me about running with shit happen to this kiddo. Obviously not an eye but his nose. I never had any of these kinds of injuries as a kid. Maybe his mom didn't embed in his mind that if he ran with things in his hands that he would poke his eye out.

Still even with all that I will be honest with you..
I really am not one that believes in that old saying..

Who knows.

Maybe sometimes she just did..

I mean seriously..


I


NEVER


HAD


A

FORK STUCK IN MY NOSE!