Got Forgiveness??

FORGIVENESS

Has someone at some time in your life wronged you? Do you hold a grudge against someone for something you feel is just not apprehensible? Is there someone or something that was brought to your life that you just can’t FORGIVE?

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Growing up I wasn’t treated the best. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally abused. This, along with hiding the fact that I was gay lead to a lot of emotional problems. My heart was pretty heavy and I felt the world was against me. When I finally decided to start living my life for myself and came out, I also made another decision.

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This was a decision that was needed. One that would be very difficult to do, but was the most necessary thing to do, to truly have a better life and to lift the heavy burden off my heart. The decision I made was to forgive all the people who had mistreated me in life.

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It was a very tough thing to do. Don’t get me wrong. In doing this though it changed my life around. It made me take a better look at the situations and what would have made people do what they did. Finally, I knew they made their mistakes and it wasn’t MY FAULT it was theirs. It was the their fault for taking their past experiences and pushing them on to me.

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So now back to what I asked you. Is there someone or more the one person that you can’t seem to forgive? If you answered yes, now is the time to change all that. Not for them, but for yourself.

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First thing you need to do is look at each person as an individual that you have felt has done something to you that you cannot forgive.

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Ask yourself this. Why is it that this person forsaken me in the first place?

In most cases people carry on the way they have been treated in life. If they are still carrying around grudges and resentment towards people who had wronged them in life it’s a lot easier for them to continue on with doing the same to others. Now, because of their ill past, we must suffer. So the first step for me was to realize that it wasn’t me that was the problem. It was them. Because of their ignorance and heavy hearts I was made to suffer also. So to make sure I wouldn’t do the same to others, I had to end the cycle of this with myself.

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Another question – When you can’t forgive someone. Do you really think it bothers them? Do you think they are having sleepless nights because you are upset at them? Well more then likely, NO! Some people may worry about it when it first happens, but for the most part when you are harboring hatred towards them for years, they quit worrying about it a week after it happened. So you not forgiving the action isn’t punishing them. It’s just punishing the most important person YOU! This was very much the case with me. As the people who wronged me in their life went about their business, I was the only one crying about it. I was the only one wanting to know how they could do this to me. While, they didn’t think twice about their wrong doings.

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When you can’t forgive someone it really does make you angry inside. It causes stress to your mind and your body. It makes you start to think a lot of times if the situation was partly your fault. Was there anything you could have done to make it different? What you need to realize is there wasn’t, you can’t change the actions of others. All you can do is not allow them to have the best of you.

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Allowing yourself to NOT forgive someone is allowing them to repeat the monstrosity to you every day, in a sense. You think about it and their hurtful ways can never go away. I am not saying forget about it. Always remember, but forgiveness is key for you to carry on.

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I hope this is something you can find in your heart to do. No matter how bad, painful, or hurtful it was. It will just continue to hurt you throughout your life until you can forgive and let it go.

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Don’t let someone else’s ignorance lead you down the path they have chosen to take. Be the better person.. NOT FOR THEM.. FOR YOU! Because of all you aren’t forgiving them for them, you are forgiving them for YOU!!!!!

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Also, I would like to say this. If you have done someone wrong in the past. Tell them you are sorry and mean it. Let them know you made bad decisions and you regret them, but, NEVER DEMAND forgiveness from someone. Ask for it and let it go.

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Your past can ONLY hold you down if YOU allow it to do so.